How to Help an Alcoholic Friend or Family Member: 15 Useful Tips
1. Confront Reality
The reality is, you are dealing with alcoholism. Confronting the
truth of this is one of the first steps of how to help an alcoholic.
This is a key factor, not just for the alcoholic themselves, but for
friends and family who wish to help the alcoholic regain control of
their lives.
2. No more secrets.
If you've been keeping your loved one's addiction a secret, then it's
time to break that silence and reach out. Speak to other family members
who are close to you and your loved one – this can include their
doctors, priest, co-workers, etc. If those people are willing and able
to provide legitimate support during this difficult time, then they
could prove an invaluable ally in this instance. Once everyone who's
closest to this person is aware of the circumstances, and everyone is in
agreement that this person needs help, then you can proceed forward
from there.
3. Gather supportive people together.
Once you're certain you have pinpointed the most helpful people in this
situation, make an agreement to talk to your loved one together, as a
group. It's usually best to invite the friends, family members, and
other supportive people who can be calm under intense, emotional
conversations. A functioning alcoholic can quickly turn into an angry
alcoholic when they're confronted with the reality of the situation, so
cooler heads must prevail if you want to successfully convince your
friend or loved one to seek help.
4.Choose the proper time and place.
It's always best to avoid trying to engage with a person when they've
been drinking or if they're stressed out. Stressful situations can often
trigger the urge for an alcoholic to have a drink, so it's best to
reach out to them when they're sober and as receptive as possible. For
many with alcohol abuse issues, this time is typically sometime during
the morning, but it can vary from person to person.
5.Share your concerns with your loved one.
As mentioned in number 3, if a loved one has been drinking or is in a
stressful place in their life, it's usually best to avoid confronting
them about their drinking. However, if they are in the right place, try
to speak to them with as much calm and compassion as you can muster.
Although it might be difficult, try to steer away from judgment,
pointing fingers, or issuing ultimatums as this will only derail the
conversation. Share your experiences of living as a person in their
lives while they're abusing alcohol and let them know how those
experiences made you feel. Make sure that you're specific, but again,
try to avoid the blame game. The most important thing is that your
friend or loved one is finally seeking help, and this is your
opportunity to be as supportive and loving as possible during this
challenging transitional period.
6. To detox or not detox
If your friend or loved one has been drinking for many years, chances
are good they will not be able to safely wean themselves off of alcohol
alone. Even the most supportive group of friends and family can't take
the place of proper medical intervention in a situation like this one.
For friends or family who has only just recently started experiencing
issues with drinking, there is the possibility that they could stop
drinking on their own – in which case, your support during this time
will be invaluable to the recovering alcoholic. We do not advise this as
there are major dangers of detox without medical supervision. In nearly
every case of alcohol addiction, it's best to seek a medical detox.
7. What if they refuse treatment?
For friends and family members who go the extra mile and reach out to
someone with a drinking problem, there is the possibility that the
person won't want to go to treatment. The prospect can be scary, for
many people – especially if their treatment requires they stay in a
treatment facility. Removing someone from their comfort zone physically
can be jarring and stressful on its own, so no matter how heartfelt your
pleas are, they might reject your suggestion. If that's the case, then
you might have to make the decision to take a step back and allow your
loved one to make their own mistakes without intervention from you. This
might be considered "tough love," but many addicts and those with
drinking problems usually have to hit the proverbial "rock bottom"
before they can ever confront the fact that they have a serious issue
with drinking.
8.Don't neglect your own mental and physical health
As tough as it can be to watch a family member or friend struggle with
alcoholism, it's essential to make sure to look after your own
well-being during this time, too. If you check with organizations in
your area, chances are good you'll be able to find a support group for
families of alcoholics. There, you can share your feelings with others
who are in a similar situation and, hopefully, make peace with your
decision to help your loved one. This type of group can be especially
helpful for the wife of an alcoholic as well as children, grandchildren,
and other members of the family who are close to them
9. When in doubt, reach out to a higher authority.
If your friend or loved one seems determined to refuse to seek help for
their substance abuse issue despite all your efforts, then it might be
time to call for reinforcements. If your loved one has a very close
friend, relative, manager, or other authority figure they respect, you
might try to involve them in this process. If you think it might have a
greater impact, invite them to the initial conversation with your loved
one and their friends and family. This will add significant weight to
the proceedings and let your loved one know that you're both serious and
sincere in asking them to seek help. If all else fails, though, you can
always seek the help of a trained intervention specialist. An
intervention specialist is a social worker who's received specialized
training to assess your loved one's condition and suggest the best type
of treatment for their problem.
10. how to support a recovering alcoholic.
Convincing your loved one to seek help for their drinking problem is a
tremendous achievement, however that is just the first baby steps of the
process. The next steps are up to your loved one to take, but if
they've agreed to seek help, that's the biggest and most important step
of all. These next steps usually include detox, one-on-one or even group
counseling for alcoholics, and – in more extreme cases – moving into
transitional or 'sober living' arrangements. These 'sober homes' are
essentially half-way houses that provide a recovering alcoholic with the
support and structure that they need to stay away from alcohol for
good. Once your loved one has reached a good place in their treatment,
they often have the option to return to their normal life, minus the
alcohol.
11. Recovery for life.
One of the essential things on how to help an alcoholic friend or family
member is to internalize the truth that this person you love is – and
always will be – a recovering alcoholic. For the rest of their life and
your life. It's a process that goes day by day, and sometimes even
minute by minute, and patience, understanding, and compassion are
critical to help prevent relapse.
12. Ripples in a pond
Understand that alcoholism has dramatically affected this person's life,
in countless ways, including personally, professionally, financially,
physically, mentally, and emotionally. Their bank account might be
empty, they might owe legal fees to the court for DUIs, unpaid tickets,
or bail. They might have lost their job as a result of their drinking,
or damaged their relationship with you or any of their other friends or
family members.
13. Knowledge is power.
Substance abuse hurts the person struggling with addiction but also
everyone close to them in countless ways. Education is an essential tool
for helping your friend who's recovering from a drinking problem. Many
treatment facilities offer classes and counseling sessions about how
addiction works, and how to cope with the stresses of daily life.
14. On the outside
Another vital way that you can support your friend or family member in
recovery is to take part in activities where you can have a fun time
without the need for alcohol (learn why to avoid non-alcoholic beer
during recovery). It might also be helpful to go through your loved
one's home and clean out any bottles of alcohol (or products that
contain large amounts of alcohol) you find and dispose of them, so that
they can't just reach for a bottle at the end of a difficult day.
Searching the home from top to bottom is often a good plan, as
alcoholics will often stash away bottles big and small all throughout
their living space.
15.We're all in this together
For those living with anyone with a drinking problem, recovery is a
group effort and at times might require you to change your own habits in
order to support your friend more effectively. For those with alcohol
issues, sometimes just seeing someone crack open a beer can be enough to
make them want to reach for one, themselves. That makes it all the more
important that you take note of any of your own unhealthy behaviors –
especially with regard to alcohol – and address those in your own time.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it is extremely rare for a person
with a drinking problem to simply quit drinking and remain sober from
then on. Most likely, there will be relapses and it's best to prepare
yourself emotionally for that reality. But the most important thing to
remember is that while every day is a struggle for just about everyone,
for those with drinking problems, the struggle is a long, slow climb out
of the hole they've dug for themselves. Patience and kindness can go a
long way in helping a friend avoid relapsing into alcohol addiction
Reference: https://www.lakeviewhealth.com/lp/how-to-help-an-alcoholic-friend-or-family-member/
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